Holding to Her Word
by Silent Amethyst
Summary: He had entrusted his very life into her hands and she had promised to protect it even at the cost of her own.


**Holding to Her Word**

"…_Will you follow me?"_

"_As you wish, sir. Into hell if you so desire."_

It had always been a risk. She knew that very well…all too well. Joining the military by no means guaranteed it, but it certainly increased the probability. Having risen in rank so quickly and at so young an age didn't help, and neither did having been involved in so many conflicting situations and affairs.

Several friends had been made… and so had many enemies.

He had trusted her abilities to make sure he was always protected from those enemies. He had entrusted his very life into her hands and she had promised to protect it even at the cost of her own.

And she had failed.

She could almost hear him berating her for blaming herself, for digging the deep hole of guilt that pierced her being much like a shovel into hard, rocky soil. She could hear him saying that she was stronger than this, that she didn't need him…

She looked up and around her. Everyone attending the services circled the six foot hole that her superior, her best friend, her lover… was being lowered into, all of them looking on mournfully. All in a circle so as many as possible could observe.

Just like that night.

_Guests and party-goers formed a circle around them, gazing upon the spectacle with expression of shock, fear, curiosity, sympathy, and even indifference. There was useless clamor all around that she tuned out, eyes set only on the collapsed body of her husband. It took all her strength to hold herself together as she fell to her knees beside him, the skirt of her gown billowing around her as she took his hand in both of hers. _

_He opened his eyes and slowly turned his head in her direction. They were hazy and glazed over and the grin he offered her instantly alerted her that he was not fully there. Probably poisoned, she easily deducted even through her frantic thoughts._

"_Hey there, beautiful."_

_She could feel the strain in her eyes and pushed back the urge to cry. It hurt to see him like this. "Roy! What the hell happened?" Yes, she had already guessed, but that didn't stop her from asking anyway. _

"_Some lucky bastard spiked my drink I guess…no big deal. I'm all okay now."_

_What the hell? Why was he acting so blasé about this? "What do you mean you're fine? You're lying on the floor half conscious and you call that okay?"_

"_No." he said a seriously as he could muster. "You're here, so now I'm not alone."_

Riza squinted her eyes shut and gritted her teeth. This was not the time that she needed to be reminiscing the last words of her husband. It was hard enough keeping some amount of composure as it was. That wouldn't help at all.

She looked down at the black and white husky sitting loyally by her side. Black Hyatt sat tall and at attention, much like the soldiers honoring their fallen comrade in arms, and his ears drooped, showing that even he, a mere animal, could catch onto the sorrowful atmosphere of the event.

As if sensing her attention on him, Black Hyatt twisted his head up to her, rubbing the side of his muzzle against her leg in what she assumed to be a show of comfort for his distressed master. When she offered a weak nod he turned back to the hole that was much deeper than any one he could ever dig up, letting out a quiet, distressful whine from his throat as the 21 Gun Salute commenced.

There were others aside from military personnel attending the services, specifically those who had taken apart in the chaotic events that had ensued over a decade ago. Of course, Edward and Alphonse, along with their families were standing just a few paces away; Gracia and Elysia Hughes were nearby them; Emperor Ling Yao was present, most likely to pay his dues to a fallen fellow leader; and then their was Scar—the one guest who surprised her the most showing up aside from General Olivier Armstrong—standing solemnly and stone-faced in the back.

And that wasn't it. There were just so many, far more than expected, that she couldn't take the time to name them all. She had never realized her late husband had made so many acquaintances, so many followers, so many friends that would actually take the time to pay him his respects.

It was almost baffling.

But even more so it was disheartening… disheartening that he couldn't see it for himself.

The thought emphasized the reality of it all, nearly tearing her to pieces. Riza swallowed hard, feeling the strain around her eyes as the tears forced their way from the corners of her eyes.

This was all her fault.

There had to of been something she could have done to fix this. Kept a closer eye on him surely, taken better surveillance of the people he conversed with, made sure he didn't drink so much…_something_.

But no, she had let the one person who had kept her going all these years be killed.

She wanted to kill herself. She didn't want to suffer the consequences of her irreversible mistake.

The gravely sound of dirt colliding with finely polished wood distantly reached her ears.

"_Promise me something." The words stammered forth between labored breaths. They were becoming more and more shallow by the minute. _

_Denial was paltry and foolish and led to no good, she had always believed so. But even so, she found herself engulfed in its deceiving clutches. "No, stop talking, save your energy, the paramedics will be here shortly, it'll be–"_

"_Riza." The forceful emphasis on her name stopped her and she honestly looked at him, not fretted, but looked. Even without words she could see the truth in his expression. That even he knew nobody could be fast enough to save him from his rapid decline, that in just a matter of minutes he would die. And it told her to accept that and listen. That right now what he __**needed **__was for her to listen._

_She choked back a swallow and nodded, not trusting her voice to express that she understood._

_Roy took a long, shaky breath. "Promise me you won't blame yourself for this."_

"_How?...I can—"_

"_**Promise**__."_

_She paused yet again and solemnly nodded her assent, barely whispering, "I'll try."_

_Seemingly satisfied, he smiled and relaxed, closing his eyes. It worried her, left her anxious the more time passed and he didn't reopen them. It took almost all she had not to releases a relieved gasp when he spoke again. _

"_Years ago…you said you…would follow me into hell if…I asked you too." He looked from the ceiling back strictly on her, taking another heavy breath, sweat beading at his brow and sliding down the sides of his face in streams. "Do you remember that?"_

"_Yes, and I meant every word." She quickly confirmed. _

"_Don't." Roy said with crystal-clear finality._

_Once again Riza found herself taken aback, this time confused, although an echo in her mind told her that she already knew what he meant. "What do you mean?"_

"_Don't follow me. My time is up…but not yours." He offered a weak smile and shakily reached up to touch her face. There was nothing that could stop the tears from flowing from her eyes at that gentle contact—or at the request he was making of her, maybe both—and she reached up to press his hand with hers, savoring it for all it was worth. He continued. "You can't…protect me anymore. But I need…I need you to protect…" His words trailed off as he struggled for breath.  
_

_She nodded her head fervently, her whole body now shaking and a few desperate sobs escaping her throat. "I will. I promise. I will, I will…"_

_He nodded ever so slightly, once again closing his eyes. The most wistful, peaceful smile she had every seen on him graced his lips. He caressed her cheek with his thumb and peered up at her through the slits in his eyes. His voice was now decimated to a coarse whisper, a mere measly echo of the strength and authority and passion it used to carry. _

"_I love you, Riza. Thank you…for everything..."_

_One final heave and all was still._

_The hand pressed against her face instantly fell limp into her own._

_She realized the worst discovery then, of just how horrible it felt to __**feel**__ the life of someone you love… vanish. _

_A scream rang soundly into every shadowed crevice of the large hall._

She truly did want to die, to follow in his footsteps. And years ago she would have. Years ago she would have had nothing else to live for. Years ago she would have handed Black Hyatt over to someone she trusted to take care of him.

But years ago she didn't have the small child sitting in the crook of her arms to protect, to keep her anchored into the living world just a little longer.

And Riza would be damned if she ever fell short the last command the father of Maes Mustang had given her.

One by one each of the guests began to depart, some stopping to give her their condolences before doing so. Others offered her a place to stay for as long as she needed, just to give her time to get back on her feet, but she kindly refused. She did not want to intrude herself upon them or be a burden. Even more so, a part of her doubted that if she did take up the offers, she would be unable to get herself back up on her own feet again.

Soon only the broken family of three remained on the grounds, the only other being their chauffeur waiting idly a distance away.

There was a soft rustling in her arms and a pair of obsidian eyes gazed up at her curiously. The one year was too young to contemplate what had happened, but he was intelligent enough to understand that his mother was torn apart by the streaks that had dried on her face. He reached up a small hand to pat her cheek.

She bit back the tears that emulated from the memory of that innocent touch coming from a face that so much resembled its father's more than her own.

"Mama no cry. It okay."

Riza's breath hitched, taking a moment to regain her self before hugging him close to her chest.

It was by no means _okay_. Nothing was. But it was going to have to be. That was why she needed to recover on her own. She needed to pick herself up and move forward, to pretend that everything was okay, if not for her sake, but for Maes'.

She needed to protect him, and she couldn't do that sitting down.

"I know." She murmured into his ear. "I know, because you're here."

***"*"*"*"*"***

**I have to say I'm very happy with this, despite how sad it is. I made myself start crying at the end of the second flashback, but I'm going to take that as a good sign. And it was hard doing the end, trying to keep with the theme of the story when I want to do some nice, fluffy comfort scene. But I did it, and I'm very proud of that. **

**Hope it was worth the read. Please review!**


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